Amazing

Orphaned in Africa

Kids are the future and the kids of South Africa can bring a great change to the community despite their shattered upbringing. You don’t know the story behind most of the kids, but you do know it is mostly tragic. A lot of these kids were left orphaned as a result of AIDS. Some were pulled from alcoholic and abusive parents. Whatever the case, they are without parents in one of the weakest economic areas in all of South Africa.

Our goal here is to end that trend. AIDS leaves more and more victims every day. As a result, the number of orphaned children only increases. We believe we have the tools to bring that devastation to an end. Education is the future.

These kids are so beautiful and each has his or her own story. Nane loves books and wristwatches. Sya loves frisbee and rocks. Colin loves handshakes, music and basketball. Syando loves cards and sugar cane. Mandla loves dribbling the soccer ball. Mfundo loves to teach me words in Zulu. Raah loves geometry textbooks.

All of these kids are innocent products of a broken or dysfunctional upbringing. They have more love than I have ever seen. I thought I would come out here to Africa and love on some kids. I have, but nothing can compare with the love they bestow on me. Their love is unconditional and innocent and pure and beautiful.

Nothing brightens up my day more than a kid who comes up and smiles and gives me a big hug. This program can help these kids rise above their affliction and pain. With a few people to get things running and spread some love, this community can become one that is not affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

These kids have given me more love than I can give to them. I feel so blessed by these kids. They have done more for me in these first few weeks than I can explain or even comprehend.

Love someone and you will change their life as well as your own.

Movie Madness

My second attempt at movie madness went off without a hitch and I broke my previous record of five movies at AMC in one day. Friday, I managed six. However, I think the original movie madness was better because the movies were simply better. That first one included “The Kite Runner,” my favorite movie of the year.

I took my mom to see “The Incredible Hulk” at 11:50 for AMC’s early bird special (still five bucks). We both really enjoyed it. The action and story were much quicker than the previous Hulk. They told the back story in about 2 minutes, while the previous took an hour.

Didn’t care much for Liv Tyler or Tim Roth, but William Hurt and Edward Norton were good. They really chose the perfect director to revive the series. Louis Leterrier (The Transporter) brought a fast-paced, explosive action style to this one and the special effects are the best of the summer.

My mom left me her bag of popcorn, so I grabbed a refill and plexed into “Son of Rambow,” which was a cute, funny story of these British kids with big imaginations. It was imaginative and artsy. It was pretty good, but failed to live up to Kite Runner caliber of which I was hoping.

On my way out of the theater, I found a large drink, so I grabbed a refill of Barq’s root beer and hopped into “The Happening” at 4:05. It was pretty crowded. I was completely ashamed to have seen this movie because the acting is so terrible.

This is easily M. Night Shyamalan’s worst movie. I just don’t think he will ever live up to “The Sixth Sense.” His story this time around is weak and flat-out boring. He put together some kind of lame story warning us that we are killing ourselves by how we treat the earth. Bunch of bull crap. Didn’t buy it for a second.

Night turned to more disturbing content than previous films as he searched for many different ways to portray suicides. Quite violent, though even with the R-rating, it is not even near as creepy as the PG-13 “Sixth Sense.” I don’t know what happened, but the suspense was not there for Night in this one. I laughed out loud at the role he gave himself (might even be more arrogant than “Lady in the Water”). He “plays” a character with no screen time or voice. He is only mentioned in the movie, yet there Night is in the credits as Writer, Director, Producer and Actor.

I angrily walked into “Kung Fu Panda,” which greatly lifted my spirits. It was a delightful, action-packed adventure. Jack Black basically played himself, which was hilarious. Great cast in this one.

Next, I checked out “Before the Rains.” It was about an Englishman building a road in India in the 1930’s who commits adultery and must answer to the tribe in the neighboring village. The drama unfolds nicely and the scenery is beautiful. I felt that it climaxed a little too soon, though.

For the sixth and final film of the day, I found “The Strangers” at 9:45. It was the second Liv Tyler movie of the day (though I didn’t realize it was her until I got home). This used some creepy long shots as opposed to jump cuts and loud music to evoke scariness, which I greatly appreciated. Other than that, definitely nothing special.

All in all, it was a great movie day that lasted about 12 hours. I know it is possible to do 7 and I think 8 might be possible. Next time, I’ll shoot for 7 flicks, hopefully better than this set.

Hulk (2003)

With the return of "The Incredible Hulk" this week, I decided to sit down and watch the most recent "Hulk" directed by oscar winner Ang Lee of "Brokeback Mountain." I thought this movie was pretty good when I saw it the first time in theaters.

Rewatching it, I have decided it has the best comic book feel of all these Marvel movies. The reason: the editing. It was very interesting how the filmmakers used clips to give it that comic feel. There were tons of crazy cuts, zooms and edits. It must have been a laborious task.

Picture the movie screen as a three dimensional cube. On almost every movie, we only see the one side of the cube and therefore never know it is actually a cube. "Hulk" defies the standard technique. Many times the cube rotates to a different side and we see a new clip. Very interesting. Just used to give it that comic feel.

This film was panned by critics as being too serious and dramatic for a super hero movie. I guess that is kind of true, but I enjoyed the change of pace compared to X-Men and Spiderman.

I love Eric Bana in the Bruce Banner role. He really was a terrific cast and he plays the part beautifully (I don't know if I can say the same of Edward Norton). You also have to love Jennifer Connelly (she is just downright gorgeous) and Nick Nolte was a good cast.

The acting wasn't the best and at times I thought I was watching a day time soap. The action was amazing despite the Hulk looking "too fake" according to die hards. The dog fight and the escape in the desert were visually terrific.

My big question: What was with the final battle? It seemed a bit too extreme and over the top? I guess that is what all super hero movies are.

The Hulk is one of my favorite characters because I wish I could turn into something huge and terrifying (and green) when I get angry. I get angry far too often so I'm sure I would be a permanent Hulk.

This movie's ending leaves it open for a sequel, but the lackluster box office performance led to scrapping the project. They, however, decided to resurrect the project just five years later. Quite a bold move because people still remember this one. They claim it to be a sequel/remake.

No Connelly, no Bana and no Nolte. O, and no Ang Lee (who, yes, is a great director). I don't know. We'll see. The action better be too die for.

"You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

3.5 of 5

Lady in the Water

Love him or loathe him, M Night Shyamalan quickly rose to fame with the enormous success of the Sixth Sense and has since established himself as a household name. Night a great storyteller. Each movie is so imaginative he nearly deserves enough acclaim to attach his name to the front of all his movies.

"Lady in the Water" was directed, written, produced and acted by Night. Many called Night arrogant after casting himself in the role of a visionary writer who will change the world, if they didn't think that already.

I think Night is a little high on his horse because of the Sixth Sense's great success and inclusion on AFI's top 100 movie list. Night felt he could do anything and people would subscribe to it because his name was at the top.

"Lady in the Water" is a derivation from Night's usual style. There are no big twists in the end. It is a fairy tale. A bed time story for adults. The puzzle does fit together nicely in the end as we were all guessing (or looking for a twist) of how it would culminate.

Night is a bit arrogant and full of himself, but hopefully the massive rejection of this movie will bring him back down to earth. Though not many like this, I found enjoyment and symbolism throughout the strange tale.

Paul Giamatti is the perfect cast in this role and I love him to death. He makes this story world more believable. I do wish that Night would have delved a bit more into the suspicion of the roles of each of the characters. It seemed to go a little too quickly. It tried to get to the end too quickly instead of naturally flowing.

Night takes a shot at critics in this one for their pan of "The Village" by killing off the arrogant and cynical film critic. Maybe this is why so many dislike this movie.

The tree monkeys are some of the coolest things I've seen. They are awesome with their roots and limbs growing on their backs. They were frightening as well.

A thing I have noticed about Night's films is his ridiculously long shots. He will hold a shot until the cows come home. This puts more pressure on the actors, but they perform well. Long shots are not the staple of horror/suspense films in which Night specializes in.

It was pretty cool to see everyone in the apartment come together for the sake of Story and her protection. She came so that man would listen. She inspired change and intellect. She was to pass the "seeds of change."

If we stop and listen, we can find the inspiration for change. We have forgotten how to listen.

Lady is a well-told strikingly original fairy tale, but never establishes itself as something more, something deeper and more meaningful. The suspense is not as well developed as previous Night films. It seems that Night can't live down "The Sixth Sense"

3.5 of 5

The Blessings of Priorities | Metro Family Magazine

The Blessings of Priorities | Metro Family Magazine

Sydney Pollack, You Will Be Missed

Sydney Pollack passed away last week from a short-lived cancer battle. I was not even aware that he had cancer. I thought he was still on top of his game after seeing him in "Michael Clayton" and that he was in the new "Made of Honor."

Pollack was the genius behind "Tootsie" and "Out of Africa" (for which he won Best Picture and Best Director oscars). Pollack was the master of dialogue. He scenes between Meryl Streep and Robert Redford in "Africa" are legendary.

Pollack really knew how to capture the drama in his movies by using intense dialogue and terrific actors. Pollack is also won of the few who championed acting and directing.

He established his name as a director and separately as an actor. He believed his acting ability helped his directing tremendously. In recent years, Pollack turned to producing and was a very effective producer.

I remember a commercial he did for AT&T or something like that for a movie theater. I think it was one of those "turn off your cell phones" things. That was a few years ago.

Pollack was a genius in the film industry and he will greatly be missed. He did so many things for film and clearly left a lasting mark. Pollack's death was a true tragedy and devastating for film. His efforts in directing, acting and producing will never be matched again.

Director
The Interpreter
Sabrina
The Firm
Out of Africa
Tootsie

Producer
Leatherheads
Michael Clayton
Breaking and Entering
Cold Mountain
The Talented Mr. Ripley

Actor
Changing Lanes
Random Hearts
Eyes Wide Shut
Husbands and Wives
The Player

Paparazzi

Paparazzi stars Cole Hauser as Bo Larami who is affected by a gang of slimy paparazzi's. Realistically, it is a revenge film from Mel Gibson against the paparazzi who have annoyed many celebrities and politicians.

Larami is a small town guy from Montana who is thrust into stardom with his first action movie, "Adrenaline Force" (what a lame title). At first, he digs the attention, but then the flashing bulbs blind him and he becomes distraught.

He eventually punches a PAP for taking pictures of his son at a soccer game and is forced to attend anger management. He thinks it's over, but when the paparazzi surround his family and cause an horrific accident that leaves his son in a coma, Larami loses it.

Through a series of events, Laramie begins picking off the four PAP's who caused the wreck. One by one they all go down.

The movie rises a severe moral question as Laramie kills these guys for injuring his family. "You don't mess with a man's family." He refuses to turn in his small town values for the values of the new Hollywood culture. He is fed up with these guys trying to ruin his life, so he takes matters into his own hands.

At best, this is one of those bad 80's revenge B-movies that Mel Gibson made a living with. He should have played the part. Though he does have a cameo as an anger management patient outside the doctor's office. Probably the truth.

This movie does a really lame job at projecting family love and unity as well as the small town homeyness of the grocery store. This director is a hack and I will not bother posting his name. This is his only motion picture. The rest of his work is dedicated solely to TV shows.

This movie surely ruined any career he may have had (though I doubt he would have had one anyway). His direction of the acting is so poor. Cole Hauser is a joke. This was supposed to be his break out role to establish him among the elite. So much for that. This probably ruined his future as well.

Gibson got a bad rapt for this and he was hated for months for it, but he always comes back.

Tom Sizemore plays Rex Harper, the lowest, foulest paparazzi of the whole bunch. Sizemore is as slimy and greasy as ever. Daniel Baldwin is his buddy who is just as dirty. The movie projects the paparazzi as the lowest of the low. The dirt on the bottom of the shoe. The scum of society. They cause a wreck and then they take pictures of the mangled bodies in the car. All the while, the other driver died.

One could consider this movie a good look at the invasion of privacy and how it affects people's lives. Do they deserve the right to take pictures of your life? Question, question. Of course, this movie is biased against them, but are they right?

One thing I could not figure out was the random cameos. Gibson was understandable, but Vince Vaughn? Chris Rock? Matthew McConaughey? What is this? Just for kicks?

A short running time (1:21) is about the best part of this movie aside from the ridiculous revenge murders (that he gets away with). If you like those kind of movies, you may get a kick out of this, but the poor direction will make you run for higher ground.

4 of 10

Hand-held Beauty

I've been thinking about making a movie for the past couple weeks and last night I finally got the chance thanks to some big help from some friends and my brother. They had to think I was crazy, but they helped out a lot.

Lately, I have become obsessed with hand-held camera movement. I just love the chaos from using a hand-held. It is amazing how camera movement can make the situation that much more intense.

The hand-held camera does not have to increase intensity as it can be used to showcase the lifestyle of a another culture of a different culture. I write this about my new found love: Mexican filmmaking. Directors like Alfonso Cuaron, Alejandro Inarritu and Guillermo del Toro.

These guys can create amazing worlds through the use of the hand-held camera. It really is beautiful how they can create these lifestyles. I cite Cuaron's "Children of Men" (such a great movie) and "Y Tu Mama Tambien" (despite the subject material, Cuaron's Mexico is delicious), del Toro's "Pan's Labyrinth" and Inarritu's "Amores Perros."

These guys really know how to make movies. I had been wanting to test out my own use of the hand-held camera, so I came up with a quick, lame plot just to test out different methods. I also love nighttime in an empty downtown, so I decided to shoot the movie in an empty downtown at night.

The car shots in the movie are great, but I got into some trouble when I sent my characters down an alley. I knew I would have some trouble with the lighting, but my goodness, I didn't expect the lighting to be that bad.

I was shooting with a crap, Wal-mart camera that refuses to pick up night time shots. So my run down the alley is really dark. I was kinda disappointed in this, but we'll see how it turns out when we edit it.

We also have a major sound problem that I can't seem to figure out at the moment. Luckily, there isn't much sound to be used in the movie other than screams and hits.

My hand-held work is decent, but I think at times I was too aggressive. My problem was I shook the camera and ran with it, so I had double the shake. If I had just let it flow naturally and tried to maintain a steady balance while I ran, it would have been better and not as drastic.

There is definitely an art to this form of cinematography and I commend anyone who has mastered it. Each movement is planned to a T and they really know what they are doing. Their presentation is so beautiful, whereas mine is sub par.

I need a lot of practice.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

DuhDuhDuhDuh DuhTaDuh duhduhduhduh DuhTaDuh

Indy's back! He is back to save the world again. As I walked throughout the theater waiting for the movie to start, I heard the glory of the theme song playing throughout the theater. At first, I thought it was coming from one of the screens, but I quickly learned it was set up on the PA system. Doesn't get much more awesome than that. I was also glad they used the same poster design as the original series.

Indy returns in 1957 in search for a skull to unlock El Dorado, the city of gold. New and old characters abound for the latest adventure. Indy is reunited with old flame Miriam (Karen Allen) from Raiders of the Lost Ark. He quickly finds out that the kid who took him to save his mom is his son. His son is played by Shia LaBeouf.

Skull is loaded with action and adventure as one might expect. Ford is old, but he can still pull off some of the stunts. They even make several jokes about how old Ford is throughout the movie.

The movie remains true to the originals in the fact that they use great stunt work as opposed to CGI for people. The stunt work is perfect and manages to capture Ford as an able, athletic fighting machine.

My first problem with this movie is all the car chases. There were like 3 huge car chases that took up a bulk of the action. Don't get me wrong, they were good, but they gave Indy a more stationary role in this one (cause he is so old). I know car chases and fights are an Indiana Jones stigma, but this one is a bit overboard. It seems the only fighting takes place on vehicles.

To praise the sound effects, I was so glad they used the same awesome, ridiculously loud punches. They are so awesome and just like the originals.

More criticism. I don't like the 50's world as much as I like the 30's world of the old movies. The 30's just seemed like the perfect time to be an adventurer and treasure hunter. The 50's is just a gross hair world. I much prefer the 30's.

Why o why Cate Blanchett? She tries so hard to make me hate her. I don't know why she is in this role, but I can't stand it. I think she is a good actor, but the roles she takes are starting to make me angry. She is showboating her skills.

In this movie, she is ugly with a disgusting outfit and haircut. There is no reason they could not have gotten some random Russian to play the part. It wasn't that essential to have star power in this role. She is really getting on my nerves.

Final criticism. What is this ending? The whole movie is adventurous and great up to the point when they walk into the room with alien skulls and skeletons. I knew it was going to turn weird. Course we can't have a George Lucas movie without some kind of ridiculous alien plot.

This really disappointed me. Sure the first three movies had supernatural happenings with religious artifacts, but never aliens with spaceships. I just found this hard to swallow. It just turned ridiculous and strayed so far from the Indy we all know and love. What was Spielberg thinking?

Despite the aliens and the sub par special effects, I still enjoyed the movie and I still love my hero, Indy. He will always remain one of the greatest characters of all time and definitely the best action hero. Indy is the bomb. I don't need any more Indy's because the originals never get stale.

4 of 5 stars

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Now, to the one I didn't remember all too well, the Last Crusade. This one was actually made when I was alive! Made four years after Doom, the Last Crusade takes place in 1936 and reincorporates the Nazis as bad guys.

I don't know why I didn't remember this one very well. I guess it is because I did not watch it as much as the other two.

Looking back at this movie, I was in for many surprises and it was just as entertaining as the first time I watched it. This one is loaded with action and adventure.

The introduction of Sean Connery as Indy's father was perfect. I really enjoyed him in this. This movie seems to have a ton of explosions and significantly less hand to hand battles. Maybe it is because of the massive tank battle that lasted half the movie.

This could be Indy's biggest adventure yet. He travels all over the world in search for the legendary Holy Grail, the mecca of all treasures.

This movie is littered with more humor than the previous movies. I just love Indy's countenance throughout the whole movie.

Spielberg claims this to be his favorite of the three and I can see why. The movie is great for the adventurer's spirit.

Crusade starts in 1912 with Indy as a Boy Scout who tries to steal a cross from jewel thieves. He thinks it belongs in a museum. The scenes as a kid explain a lot about Indy in the future, his hatred of snakes, his use of the bull whip and his hat.

Crusade is not only about a search for the Holy Grail but also about a search for reconciliation between a father and son. Dr. Jones Sr. neglected his son and his son left. Indy saves his life multiple times and they are united in the end. We will see how the last twenty years played out in the Kingdom of the Crystall Skull.

I'm interested to learn what Indy has been doing for the past 20 years. Ya, 20 years from Crusade to the newest sequel. What is the deal with resurrecting franchises from the 80's?


4.5 of 5 stars

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Moving on to my brother's favorite and possibly the darkest of the series, the Temple of Doom. Everything Spielberg couldn't get into Raiders he stuffed into this one. Escape the bad guys behind a rolling gong, use an inflatable raft as a parachute and safety blanket as he flies from a burning plane and a mine cart chase.

This movie has it all. Indie is back in the prequel to Raiders that is set in 1931 a few years earlier than Raiders. Doom was released in 1984 and was so violent, it helped garner a new system than introduced a PG-13 rating. The violence includes Molorom ripping a dude's heart out.

Doom centers on rural Indian villages that have been robbed of sacred stones. Indie must save the day. Doom has a lot of cult mysticism, child slavery and bizarre customs. Loaded with critters as opposed to snakes this time, Doom is sure to make even the strong squirm.

What my brother and I enjoyed so much about this movie was the character of little Shortie as Indie's sidekick. How we wished we could have been him as kids. To be our hero's sidekick would have been glorious. We always pretended we were Shortie and that we could save Dr. Jones whenever he needed help.

For the second time, this series won best visual effects at the Academy Awards. John Williams adds the typical awesome score. This movie is loaded with great action and is equally as entertaining as the first, but the darkness and weird spirituality are kind of a turn off in the series. I tend to think this is the weakest of the trilogy.

The thing I love about rewatching these movies is the old school sound effects. The punches sound so ridiculous and way over the top violent, which makes the movie even more exciting. I wonder if the new Indie will use the same? Probably not...

Thank you for #2 in the series which was equally as entertaining and thrilling. The adventures of Indie will stand the test of time and any kid will always think of Indie as the greatest hero of all time. Much better than today's "super"-heroes.

These movies are so well-developed and clearly thought out. It really is one of the best ideas for a hero ever. Thank you Lucas for that but not for Star Wars. I prefer the possible (haha, yeah Indie is very believable).

Harrison Ford gets more and more injured with each movie. In this one, he hurt his back. The previous, his ribs. He is probably in a wheelchair after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


4 of 5 stars

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

As the newest installment of Indy approaches, I felt the need to watch the original trilogy, which began in 1981. Can you believe that 27 years have passed and yet here comes another with Harrison Ford on his death bed?

The story of Indiana Jones is legendary and was one of my favorite movies as a kid. The adventure and daring escapades of Indy are incredible to a kid. Indy was easily the greatest character ever.

Harrison Ford was the perfect choice in this epic Spielberg film. His guise as a professor/archaeologist hides the truth that he is a treasure hunter. He is a handsome, rough teacher that his students greatly love.

Set in the 1930's, Indy is hired on by the government to beat the Nazi's to finding the Ark of the Covenant that is supposedly in Egypt. The thing with Indy is that he does all the grunt work - finding legendary treasures by passing all the traps - and some bad guy jerks it out of his hand and leaves him for dead.

The bad guy in this one is some Hitler cronie with an ugly face and a disgusting laugh. I really hate that guy.

The Ark is ripped from Indy and he and Marion (his girl) must get it back to discover the secrets within and to ensure it does not make the Nazi army invincible. The movie turns sci-fi (true to Spielberg and buddy and story writer George Lucas form) when the Nazis open the ark.

The Ark is legendary from Biblical times when the Hebrews carried it around at God's instruction as they wandered the wilderness. Anyone who touched it instantly died. It has spiritual power of some kind and has never been found.

The great thing about this epic movie is all the adventure as I previously stated. It still has some of the best fight scenes and action sequences of all time. This movie really stands the test of time. The movie is loaded with good humor as well.

Indiana Jones is one of the greatest characters/heroes ever made and I love him to death. I am so glad they made more than one movie and I can't wait for the next one. Ark is the best of the trilogy and likely the best of the series.

I didn't realize how well this movie was received back in the day. It was nominated for 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture, which I find kinda hard to believe. O well, awesome. It won 4 - Best Art Direction, Best Effects, Best Editing, Best Sound.

Congrats Spielberg on one of your best movies and series ever. I could watch this every day forever.

4.5 of 5 stars

Shotgun!

I saw this picture and almost busted a gut laughing. Not to take away from all that Rosa Parks accomplished, but this is just a funny picture. No doubt it was tough what she went through, but if you can't laugh in life then you're screwed.

Rosa Parks did much with her life as an activist who essentially began the Civil Rights Movement. Her refusal to give up her seat for a white person on December 1, 1955, led to the Montgomery Bus Boycott, which is one of the largest movements against racial segregation in U.S. history. This single event propelled Parks into a leadership role within the Civil Rights movement and forever garnered her notoriety.

Martin Luther King, Jr. rose up from the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Therefore, Parks is seen as the Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement. She helped ensure equality and the end of segregation. She did help change the world.

So, you have to laugh at the picture because Parks definitely deserves shotgun. Regretfully, she died like three years ago.

Call the picture offensive, call it in bad taste. But I call it hilarious. It does not change my view of her at all but rather emphasizes it. I probably respect her more. She was a great person.

Hopefully she followed all of the rules of shotgun.
1. Everyone has to be outside
2. You have to be able to see the car
3. Everyone has to hear you, especially the driver (so they can defend you if it turns nasty).
4. It's rude to take shotgun twice in a row (but for Rosa Parks, it wouldn't be).

Can I Graduate?

My broseph walked across the stage for graduation from high school this past weekend. Wow, time really flies. As this school year came to an end, I realized, "Crap, I'm a junior." The first two years of college really flew by.

So, my kid brother is not a kid anymore. He is an 18-year-old college boy. Never thought the day would actually happen. I still picture him as the little boy playing with his "mans" all over the house and riding his bike all over the neighborhood.

If he is getting old, then surely I am turning into a codger. I've been looking back at my life and searching for what I have done to make a difference, what I have accomplished as a 20-year-old.

I only wish I had done more in high school, then I would be so much farther along than I am today. Now, I have to go back and do those things I didn't do in high school, like find my passions and all those things I enjoy.

I feel I have done a lot and have a ton more to do. I believe I have done more than the average 20-year-old. I only hope to do more as the year progresses. I need to do so much in the next two years before I graduate.

Dub will be going to college soon with his new laptop, which is so much better than mine (and at half the price, my how technology changes in two years!). He is going to UCO, which is a good choice for him. UCO is a great school and it has tons of possibilities. Plus, he can live at home for free.

My biggest advice from where I screwed up is to try to find something you really like before you get there. That way you can explore all the avenues of the major with a maximum amount of time instead of wasting the first two years doing almost nothing.

College is a great place to not only gain a degree but to establish contacts, create change and enjoy yourself before the real world comes crashing down.

Good luck, Pube.

Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore is one of the best iconic examples of the comedy genre from the 1990's. I would venture to place it on my Top 10 Comedy list of my favorite comedies of all time, maybe Top 5.

Why Gilmore sticks out so much is the strikingly original storyline that Adam Sandler created. Sandler was really one of the top guys of comedy during the decade. He was a young genius. His movies were second only to Jim Carrey during that time period.

Happy Gilmore follows the extremely successful "Billy Madison" in 1996. This movie is 12 years old and yet it still makes me laugh out loud despite the immense number of times I've seen it.

The story is genius and Sandler cronie Dennis Dugan catches the best of the story in his direction of Gilmore. They collaborated well in showing the change in crowd at golf events once bad boy Gilmore comes to town. They took a raging character that is everything golf isn't and made him bring in a new crowd.

The thing I like most about this movie is there isn't a big lull like most movies today. Most modern comedies try to mean too much or make some kind of point and usually spend about 30 painful minutes establishing that point.

Gilmore doesn't have this. It does have it's moments of meaning, but there is never a period of more than five minutes that doesn't generate a laugh.

Possibly my favorite character of the movie is Ben Stiller as the orderly at the nursing home. He is hilarious. He forces the old people to make quilts as part of "arts and crafts" and then turns and sells the quilts. There is also the mention of landscaping duty. Haha. So amazing. "You could trouble me for a glass of shut the hell up."

Bob Barker was pretty good and their fight was fantastic. The comedic violence is amazing.

This movie meant so much to my generation. How many kids tried to swing like Gilmore after this movie? I know I did. This developed a youth interest in golf though a fleeting interest.

There are countless lines from this movie that we have repeated over the years. Lines that we always said and never realized where they came from. Lines that are still used in daily conversation that our brains remember based on certain circumstances.

"Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a -?"
"My fingers hurt."

I absolutely love this movie. The comedy is so perfect and Sandler delivers the punch throughout (literally and comically). This will always be one of my favorite movies. I could watch this movie every day for the rest of my life and laugh just the same. Gilmore is one of those movies that, although you have it memorized, is still hilarious with every viewing.

So much better than today's comedy. I was disappointed to find that Sandler and Apatow are good buddies. I think Sandler is a whole lot funnier. His 90's movies lack the Apatow-life-lesson-lull of today. They also lack the vulgarity of an Apatow movie. Whoever decided extreme vulgarity was funny is beyond me.

Gilmore is hands down Sandler's best movie to date. It is loaded with unrivaled comedy and definitely has a timeless appeal. This is slapstick at it's best.

4.5 of 5 stars

Generation Rx

Today's youth addiction is prescription medication. This has affected suburbia greatly for the past several years. I have not personally known anyone to be addicted to prescription pills, but there are many in my town.

I never understood the obsession with pills. I remember back in high school a kid would rave about having extra pain pills after surgery recovery. Everyone would be like, "Oh, that's awesome."

I would just sit there and be like, "OK."

This particular kid would mention it all the time, I guess looking for some kind of reaction. No matter how many times he said it, people would be jealous and wish they had some pain pills to get through the day. They would swap (more than likely fictional stories) about different meds they had taken while in the hospital or for some kind of sickness.

I'm pretty sure he never actually took them, he just liked to say that he had them. Again, I never saw what the big deal was. I guess the kids I knew liked to pretend they knew all about meds because it was the big thing to be in the know and the addiction to prescription medication.

I can't tell you how many movies I've seen that involve characters who ingest pills on a regular basis "to heal the pain." I think many look to medication as a type of crutch because they feel they can't do it on their own.

Those that lean on medication to get them through the day are more than likely delusional. I think a lot of people make excuses for their behavior so they take pills to help them "calm down." I think people become crazy because of their dependence on prescription meds.

I believe this is a total farce and used as a lame excuse. But whatever, I don't know everything.

So, whenever someone tells me about what kind of meds they have stashed at home or I see some movie with some addict, I just try to ignore the insanity. Today's society has become too dependent on medication to solve our problems, which instead tends to cause more.

Watch "The Chumscrubber" for a good commentary on suburbia and the kids that take pills for the "high."

Whoever Finds God, Finds Life

I've grown weary of the incessant insults directed at the methods of teaching at Life Church. Too many complain about how Life Church does business. "I couldn't watch the teacher on the screen." "Life Church is too mainstream."

Please. There is a certain point when you need to step back and look at just exactly what the church does before ripping it.

A lot of naysayers from the traditional church background would even go as far as calling Life Church immoral for it's use of rock music, televisions and videos. "That kind of thing does not belong in a church."

We've heard these whiners enough over the past 10 years. Contemporary church goers say Life Church is too commercial and tries to hard to gain membership and does not actually focus on the message.

These people are just searching for something to dis because they do not want to admit that Life Church's methods are successful. Some deep Christians claim Life Church has no room for growth, which I will agree with to a certain extent.

You must understand the mission of Life Church before you decide to insult it. Life Church's main goal is to bring in people, which I greatly applaud. We need all kinds of churches in this world to accomplish everything we can for God.

We need churches that can plug deep and drag in the unlikely. We need churches that can train future church leaders. We need churches that work solely with missions and helping others.

Life Church is a church that focuses on bringing in as many people as possible and sharing God's love with them. Life Church can do this on such an extreme level. They can market and spread the word about the church with it's 4,000 weekly attenders.

Life Church has also spread throughout the country in an effort to reach more people. Their goal is huge but attainable because of great leading from the top. Life Church does work like a corporation, but a corporation the world has never seen. A corporation that builds believers not revenue. A corporation set to change the world.

I wholeheartedly agree with Life Church's approach and greatly commend them for it. To me it's all about spreading His Word and Life Church does that very effectively. Life Church is able to reach thousands of new believers or non-Christians in a single week through multiple campuses and the Internet ("o no, a church cannot have a Web site, it's evil. We should never use the Internet to promote God's Word, I do not think God would approve.").

For those looking to grow more intimate with Him, Life Church is probably not the place for you. But don't knock Life Church for being too commercial or mainstream. That is their mission and goal. They have succeeded and will continue to succeed as long as there are unbelievers in the world. Life Church is doing it's part to change the world.

Blood Diamond

At the turn of the century, Sierra Leone, a small, coastal country in northwestern Africa, was stripped apart by civil war. The conflict was started by rebel forces who wanted to overthrow the government. Though there were many reasons for their attempt to overthrow, a big reason was the profitable diamond mines. Caught in the middle of the strife were the local people of Sierra Leone. Also, the country has the lowest life expectancy in the world at 30 years old.

The rebels and the government purged villages and towns of innocent people in their attempts to get at one another and to possess diamond mines. Most of the diamonds were never seen by the people of Sierra Leone. The government wanted them to have enough money to move into exile and the rebels wanted the diamonds to fuel their overthrow.

Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) is a fishermen caught by the rebel R.U.F. group. Throughout the movie, Solomon has a sense of innocence. He wants to be with his family and he wants his son to get a good education. He finds it difficult to lie even to save his own life. He also doesn't like the ease with which some kill people. He perfectly represents the locals.

While in the possession of the R.U.F., Solomon finds one of the biggest diamonds they've ever seen in the diamond mines. He buries it as the government attacks and arrests the rebels and their captives.

Insert Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio). The ex-South African military/mercenary hired by South African hit men to find and sell conflict diamonds on the black market. He trades arms for conflict diamonds with the rebels and the government alike. He funds the war. Archer convinces Vandy that he can save his family and that the diamond is his ticket out of the country. Archer has his own selfish desires for getting the diamond.

With help from American journalist Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), the two find a way back to the diamond mine to find that massive diamond Solomon found. They run into Solomon's son who has been trained (aka brainwashed) by the R.U.F. to kill. They are armed with an AK-47 and told to kill the resistance. The R.U.F. uses drugs and alcohol to brainwash the kids. Eventually, they become completely different people. Solomon's son would have killed his father if he had the chance. He refuses to recognize his father.

They find the diamond and escape. Solomon carries Archer to safety, which reinforces the "carry" metaphor. Whether Archer had a change of heart or just couldn't make it, he did not steal the diamond from Solomon. Solomon escaped the country determined to bring down the fictional Van de Kaap jewelers who purchase the conflict diamonds regularly. Solomon is the hope to save his country and let the world know of the atrocities that happen in the small country.

"Blood Diamond" is a compelling story loaded with action and meaning. This is one of the best stories to come from Hollywood in the past five years. Director Edward Zwick (The Last Samurai, Legends of the Fall) presents us with a startling truth about the displeasing state of Sierra Leone.

The treatment of the locals is quite sad and discomforting. Connelley is there to document exactly what is happening. DiCaprio is the negative outsider who hates the continent but remains to steal and sell diamonds. "I used to wonder, 'Will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other. But then I realized that God left this place a long time ago."

DiCaprio is the cynical mercenary who sees the strife and atrocities in the country but chooses to do his own work instead of helping. He believes there is no way to help the people. In the end, he helps Hounsou and Connelley expose the truth about conflict diamonds.

This movie was nominated for 5 Oscars but won none. Djimon Hounsou was ripped off for supporting actor. He was terrific and well-deserving. Probably the biggest snub of all time.

Anytime anything of value is found in Africa the locals are killed. It happened with ivory, rubber, gold and oil. And now it is happening with diamonds.

-The United States accounts for 2/3 of diamond purchases.
-Conflict diamonds represent 15% of all diamonds.
-Rather than an export for the country, the diamonds are smuggled out and traded for arms to fund the civil war.
-Neighboring country Liberia has $2 billion in diamond exports but no diamonds to speak of in the country.
-The earth is red from the spilt blood.
-As a result from this story, the Kimberley Process began which is a more in depth effort to eliminate conflict diamonds.
-Up to the consumer to ensure the diamond they buy is not a conflict diamond.
-Now, Sierra Leone is at peace.
-There are 200,000 child soldiers in Africa.

To affirm the state of Africa, Archer lives the credo "TIA." Expect everything because Africa's state is poor and anything can and will happen. What happens there is just part of the country.

This Is Africa

4.5 of 5 stars

STOP

Something is happening. There has been a revolution of messages expressed by way of stop signs. I have noticed this in the past couple of years and it has apparently become the thing to do.

The first one I saw confused me because I had no idea what it meant. I pulled up to a stop sign and saw that someone had spray painted "BUSH" on the sign beneath the word "STOP."

It took me a minute to figure out what was meant by this. But of course, it is a message that says, "Stop Bush." Regardless of whether I agreed with the message, I thought it was a pretty good idea (apart from the whole vandalizing public property thing).

Since then, I have been on the lookout for more messages on signs. I hear it has become a recreational activity to go out for a night on the town with a group of friends spray painting different things on stop signs.

This one I found in Stillwater and is one of my favorites. "Stop buying so much." Could it be more true? This is great social commentary from some faceless vandal. We do buy too much. It seems people feel that fulfillment comes with the more possessions they acquire.

Anyway, the stop sign revolution is going to change the world. Be sure to follow only the best advice from signs. I wonder who started this or where the idea came from.

If I ever spray painted a stop sign, it would say "Stop Lying."

Favorites:

"Stop cheating"
"Stop eating"
"Stop running away"
"Stop chasing dreams" - haha don't follow this one
"Stop thinking about yourself"
"Stop stealing oil"
"Stop doing what you're told" - kind of ironic, right
"Stop following the rules"
"Don't Stop"
"Stop vandalizing" - haha I hope to see this one some day

Doesn't have to be a stop sign
"One way to heaven"
"Yield your life"

Hope to see more or think of some better ones.

NFL Draft 2008

So, I realize the draft was more than a week ago, but I have been busy with finals and moving that I have not been able to blog about the draft.

I thought the Steelers cleaned house. I had not heard of their first round pick before (Mendenhall RB from Illinois), but I was very impressed with his tapes. On NFL.com, Sterling Sharpe said he would likely win rookie of the year. That would be incredible.

I'm glad they picked up another runner because Parker won't last long with 40 carries a game and his injury last season was devastating to the team's success. Mendenhall is a big, between the tackles runner and that is just what the Steelers need to complement Willie Parker's outside speed.

The best pick of the draft was the second round selection of Limas Sweed. I love this guy. He was a four year starter at Texas and Vince Young's favorite target. I can't tell you how many times he caught the jump ball in the end zone over some lame Oklahoma State cornerback.

Sweed is a playmaker and at 6'4" exactly what the Steelers need to fill the receiver vacancy. Ya, the Steelers dropped my boy Cedrick Wilson for some reason. So, prior to the draft, they had the aging Hines Ward and the ever-improving Nate Washington.

The Steelers' need for a big receiver is great. Ben has never had much to work with but has still found ways to get it done. I think if the Steelers still had ol' Plaxico, they would have won multiple Super Bowls.

I was hoping the Steelers would go after Sweed, OU's Malcolm Kelly, or OSU's Adarius Bowman. So, I was pumped they got Sweed, the best of the group.

The Steelers also picked up a couple linebackers, an offensive tackle and a safety in the draft. In the fifth round, they took Oregon's versatile quarterback Dennis Dixon.

I love this move. Of course, he won't be a quarterback in Pittsburgh. Many have compared Dixon to a new "Slash" as Kordell Stewart was back in the day. I love having Dixon. He is a replacement for Randle El. Dixon is fast and elusive. He is heady on the field and he knows how to avoid pressure.

He will make a great little receiver to execute those special plays. I see it now. Dixon to Sweed to win the Super Bowl. It is going to be awesome. I couldn't be more excited.

Now, to the disappointment. No one from Oklahoma State was drafted. How depressing is that. That is the first time I can remember that no one was drafted. I have now officially self-boycotted the media of this state. Everyone said Bowman was a for sure second or third round pick. Savage would go no later than the fifth round.

Ha, the Sports Animal lies yet again. Not only was Bowman not drafted, but he was not even picked up as a free agent. Sure, his stock went throug the toilet when he was arrested for marijuana, but come on, they are all screw-ups. I thought he was for sure. He is a very talented receiver and holds many Oklahoma State records in his two short years.

The only two Cowboys picked up were FB Julius Crosslin who went to the Dallas Cowboys and my boy Donovan Woods to the Steelers, baby!

I always liked Woods. I thought he could make a great player with a little coaching help. He always had a great eye for the field. I think he could make the team because he does have skill and the Steelers are thin at linebacker. As a linebacker, is there a better team to play for?

The Steelers are legendary for producing excellent linebackers. Let's hope for the same for D Woods.

Sorority Boys

According to IMDB.com, Sorority Boys lies in the bottom percentile with an average user rating of 4.9. Haha, that is pretty pathetic.

I, however, beg to differ. Sorority Boys is one of those movies that goes unnoticed and quickly shoved under the couch. People could argue that this movie is entirely profane (it is) and unworthy of watching. All this is true (it is a nasty movie), but it pales in comparison to today's Apatow comedies (which suck).

This is quality comedy at its best. OK, maybe crappy comedy at its worst. Same thing, right. Here is what I love about this movie: Harland Williams. He is hilarious and no one knows who he is.

Williams was the biker cop with "killer boots" in Dumb and Dumber. And he was also Rocketman, which stands as one of the funniest slapsticks of the modern era (and you can quote me on that).

He character, Doofer, is a bumbling, drunk fool who provides raucous laughter throughout.

The second best part of the movie is the violent attack between the two frat brothers as they engage in a romantic relationship (one is a guy dressed as a girl).

O yeah, plot outline. Three guys get kicked out of their frat for stealing the frat's money (they didn't). With the tempting offer of free room and board at the laughed at, ugly sorority, the boys decide to cross dress until they can prove their innocence.

The movie runs into a major problem about halfway through, it tries to be a real movie. Instead of maintaining goofy comedy, it turns dramatic and tries way to hard to teach valuable life lessons.

Let's just say this part failed. I did not learn anything from watching this movie and in fact, I am probably dumber from having watched it.

O well, it was worth a watch for those fleeting moments of hilarity and ridiculousness. Doofer might be my favorite frat character ever however few and far between his glory shines.

By the way, I'm pretty sure this movie ruined the careers of every actor involved.

I do not recommend this one to the weak as it is profoundly disgusting, but if you would like to be dumbed down for awhile watch it. But turn it off after the first half hour or so because nothing happens for the rest of the movie. The end is actually pretty boring and unfulfilling.

5.2 of 10 (for doofer)

3's and 8's

Why is the world run by such morons? Well, maybe the gas station attendants don't run the world, but you know what I mean. Why is everyone such a fool?

I have begun to realize why the people that work at gas stations do, in fact, work at gas stations. I'm speaking on pure generalizations and yes, I am stereotyping the worker at such establishments.

But come on, how dumb must you be to put the 3's and the 8's upside down.

Rereading that sentence makes me sound like a fool. Who notices a three or eight upside down? If they were backwards, that would be an obvious problem. But I didn't even notice a difference between the top circle and the bottom circle.

You may not have noticed, but I did and that's the only thing that matters. It is just a simple little thing that can easily be fixed by flipping the number the right side up on the gas sign.

It has become an increasing problem in today's world as gas prices have soared into the three dollar range. Half the stations in town have this problem. The put the three's and eight's upside down just to make me angry.

I almost yelled at a worker who was changing the sign when I drove by the other day. Use your brain and flip the sign so that the fatter circle of half circle is at the bottom.

What does it take to fix this problem? I suggest an IQ test with questions about symmetry of numbers. Either that or burn down those gas stations.

Yes, that's all.

*Note the first two three's compared to the third.

Burn It Down

My latest pet peeve lies with the bless-ed computer labs on campus here at Oklahoma State in Stillwater. This past week has been a struggle that has led me to burn down one of the buildings on campus.

These things are so ridiculous, I can hardly see straight. I tried the Kerr-Drummond Lab (the closest computer lab to my room) and was met with disappointment. More than half of the computers do not work. They are stuck on the loading screen and apparently the university cares too little to try to fix them.

Eight of the 40 computers were taken, so I had to go elsewhere to complete my assignment that requires a special program (yeah, I'm getting screwed twice). The university screws me over by giving me assignments that can only be completed on their systems and then their computers are more ghetto than the projects (I'm not even going to get into the massive problem of "entire-campus-wireless-internet" OSU claims).

So, I had to find another lab where I could do my stupid Astronomy lab project. I went to the lab in the Math Science building. It is a catastrophe before I even get into the lab. The lab has four doors, but get this, only one of them works. What is that? How does a door not work? And why the freak haven't they fixed it? It is a simple swinging door that should require little maintenance, but OSU couldn't care less.

I manage to get into the godforsaken place to search for a working computer. I find one and decide, "Hey, why not time how long it takes to log on to this stupid thing."

Here we go:
Type in my name and password to log on - 3 minutes later the computer has finally booted and logged me on.
Now, give it another minute to load the shotty anti-virus program.
Double click Internet Explorer - 3o seconds later the browser pops up
Give it another 30 seconds to load and now I'm ready.

We're talking about five minutes just to get on to the Internet. These things are such pieces of crap. They are Dell computers from 1998 that barely load XP without frying.

Also, the inconvenience of typing my name and password for everything I have to print is greatly annoying.

The problem isn't just with a couple labs, it is the majority of the campus. I have found one lab I can handle and that is the lab I'm in right now. The Mac Lab in the JB building is cooperative and quick and I much prefer it over anywhere else on campus.

Thank you for being so "convenient" OSU with your little computer labs to "benefit" the students. "We have strategically placed computer labs throughout the campus for students to use with convenient printers all available free of charge."

Haha, that is ridiculous.

You would think with as much as I pay for this crap, it would be decent. They can't even manage to make a door open and close. I even pay a "Technology Fee." What is that for? Where does that go? To the little guy in the orange vest who sits there and does his homework. What a piece of junk.

Get it together, people.

Minority Report

2002's "Minority Report" is one of Steven Spielberg's darker action flicks. The film was "bleech-bypassed" during post production to give it a dark feel that made the movie look almost black and white. It is considered very unique and paints a bleak view of the future.

The colors in the movie are very desaturated which gives it a dark bluish tint that resonates throughout the movie. The futuristic world created by Spielberg is an example of a mix of utopia and dystopia.

The year is 2054 and Tom Cruise is Pre-Crime agent John Anderton, who arrests people of murders before they are committed thanks to the three "pre-cogs" (kids of drug abusers, who are "blessed" with visions of murder in the future).

The world created in 2054 is high-tech, but not too preposterous. People still live as they do only with more technology. They do not drastically change their lifestyles as we see a lot in sci-fi movies.

The Pre-Crime division has eliminated murder in Washington D.C. in it's six years of service. The division is on the brink of going national and is therefore scrutinized by Department of Justice agent Danny Witwer (Colin Farrell).

Anderton is soon accused of murder three days into the future. He must go on the run and figure out how to clear his name. He does not even know the man he is supposed to kill.

The movie raises interesting questions about predetermination and destiny. If he had not been accused of murder, would he have actually committed it? The likelihood is that he wouldn't considering he did not know the guy.

The question is that of free will. Do we have a choice to change our "destiny?" Simply accusing Anderton leads him into a situation where he is forced to choice whether to murder this man (a very emotional choice at that).

All those that Anderton arrested did not actually do anything, yet they have been arrested. Could the pre-cogs be wrong or tampered with?

This movie ponders many questions and leaves you wondering in the end about free will and how we can alter the future by decisions we make. I love futuristic movies that ponder questions of reality, so this is right down my ally.

As for the content of the movie, it is loaded with action and futuristic violence involving jet packs and a freakin' awesome shock wave gun (coolest part of the movie). The technology is stunning and believable for what is nearly 50 years away.

I did not like the score created for this movie. It felt like a lot of the music did not apply or fit too well. It was done by the legend John Williams, but it simply did not add much to the film. The music was too opera-ish. It should have been the music of a classic film set in 1700's England. I was not pleased with this and felt like the movie would have been that much better with an average action movie score.

Another problem I have with this movie was the 30 minute lull at the end. This seems to be a common thing with Spielberg's latest movies (cough, cough "Munich" - that thing lasted forever). I thought the movie could have ended about five minutes after Anderton's confrontation with the guy he was to murder. Speilberg could have shortened this ending because in 30 minutes we don't learn that much.

It could have been squeezed into five minutes. The movie seems to take a boring turn at this point and fails to answer any questions we hadn't figured out already. Other than that and the music, I would say this is one of my favorite Spielberg movies, especially in recent years.

The action and futuristic world are spot on and Cruise is great as always. Throughout the movie, I tried to gather an evaluation on Farrell, but I still can't pinpoint it. I was looking for something to make him not live up to his negative reputation. I don't know. I still can't figure out if he is that great of an actor. Hard to tell in this one.

"Everybody runs."

4 of 5 stars

Goldmember

“How bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard.” This is hands down my favorite line from the 2002 comedy “Goldmember.”

The third installment of the Austin Powers trilogy was a triumphant end to a series that so completely defines my sense of humor. Sometimes I wish the series would have continued, but after watching “Goldmember” again I’m glad that it’s over.

“Goldmember” seems to emphasize the same jokes as the first series yet with weaker delivery. The jokes seem tireless and never-ending. The plot is crap, but that’s typical for a comedy movie.

The humor is still dimwitted and riotous, but it just lacks the certain humph from the previous two movies. The addition of the new character, Goldmember, saves the movie. Had it not been for him (played of course by Mike Myers) or Nigel Powers (hahaha, Michael Caine is so awesome), this movie would have been awful and albeit unbearable.

The thing that stands out most about this movie compared with the first two is Austin’s character. He does not have the same charisma or “mojo” should I say. It lacks his shallow relationship with women. Also, what’s the deal with Beyonce as the girl? That doesn’t work, she is no Bond girl. I guess it is a play on Halle Berry from “Die Another Day.”

Also, I noticed, more in this movie than the others, pointless scenes that add nothing to the plot. They are just there for laughs, but they really do nothing for the movie. It just seems like random little segments that were funny but improvised and eventually included.

This is obvious in the scenes in the submarine. There is one point when Dr. Evil was standing at the front of the ship dancing to “Beyond the Sea.” WTF. Where did that come from? Anyway, it was still hilarious.

I would much rather watch a comedy like this than the crap they pass off as comedy these days (which includes anything Seth Rogen or Jud Apatow touches). This is so much more humorous and drastically less vulgar.

Mike Myers is a comedic genius, but he is just not in enough. I would like to see him in a preposterous comedy a year. His next one, “The Love Guru,” appears to be a fourth Austin Powers in that he plays more than likely the same exact character (maybe just a combination of Dr. Evil, Goldmember, Fat Bastard and Austin Powers – which would be awesome). I’m not too optimistic though.

So with the end of Austin Powers comes the dawn of shotty, vulgar comedy that has no place being in the real world. I miss movies like this one even though the humor is at times tired and recycled.

But to continue the series would have been overkill and would have left a bad rap on the whole shebang. It just would not have worked with Scott as the evil guy taking over the world. It was a sweet ending.
I will throw it 4 out of 5 stars because of Mike Myers’ relentless humor and because of the extreme randomness and absurdity of the scene in which Dr. Evil (in a trucker hat) walkie talkies Goldmember trucker-style.

“Whew, son of a bitch, pile of monkey nuts!”

Godzilla 1998

Fell back on one of my favorite movies as a kid from the 90's. I used to think this movie was so awesome. It was one of those I got (on VHS mind you) and watched every day of the summer as a kid.

"Godzilla" was awesome and I thought it was the best special effects I had ever seen. The movie took great pride in the amount of time and the collaborative effort in special effects for this movie and in 1998 they were pretty good.

In 1998, they were pretty good. Now, holy crap, they are awful. This movie does not even come close to standing the test of time, which can be said about a lot of high-budget special effects movies. Fifteen years from now, I think I will prefer showing my kids "Jurassic Park" simply because it was better made and included a more profound and realistic look at dinosaurs.

Apart from the special effects looking criminal now, "Godzilla" contains some of the worst acting, directing and story development of all time. Sure, it was a good idea to make an American remake of the Japanese classic, but good Lord, couldn't we have done a better job?

It makes American cinema look like a kid trying to dunk on Shaq. It is pathetic. I cannot for the life of me figure out director Roland Emmerich. Somehow this guy made classics such as "Independence Day" and "Patriot." But for every good movie, he has three bad ones. Emmerich's slate includes "The Day After Tomorrow," "Eight Legged Freaks" and yet another disappointment "10,000 B.C."

This guy just straight up cares very little for the quality of his film. He stresses too much on his special effects and puts forth little effort in the plot or storyline. "Godzilla" is no exception.

The creature was a result of nuclear testing in the French Polynesian islands, which, OK, the story is somewhat reasonable so far. After attacking ships in the Pacific, Gojira ends up at New York for some unexplained reason. They later showed his path from the island to NYC and apparently he travelled through the Panama Canal then up the east coast. He never attacked anything between the Pacific and NYC. This was a "simple" detail that the filmmakers decided not to explain.

The military unloads countless amounts of explosives on the creature destroying half of New York and never manage to inflict any damages on the creature. The smartest guy that the military talks to is the "worm guy" who is forced to make common sense calls that some babies couldn't think of.

Matthew Broderick is a nerd and loser who specializes in conducting experiments on worms that were affected by the nuclear testing. He is Dr. Nick Tatapolous and he is the only hope. That is so sad and I would never want a guy like this to be the last resort to save mankind. What a joke. Hank Azaria cannot even save the cast as the “Animal” WIDF cameraman who takes Broderick’s ex-girlfriend into the tunnels to get the exclusive story. I don’t know who that girl is or care to be honest.

Jean Reno is the French secret service agent sent to America to save the world from the bad things the French had done. So, why not litter the movie with poor foreign jokes. “Godzilla” is chalked full of poor, ill-scripted jokes about coffee, America and France. I did not quite understand the need for so many dadgum coffee jokes. What is the deal here?

OK, so Jean Reno and Matthew Broderick save the world and no one ever knows of the French involvement in the bringing down of the monster. The dimwitted American military attributes their successes on Tatapolous and looks no deeper into the situation. Long live stupidity.

The final scene where they actually kill the monster (rather than assume he is dead, which they did like eight times) was ridiculous (not to mention the previous 30 seconds where they destroyed Madison Square Garden). Godzilla gets trapped on the Brooklyn Bridge and is shot 48 times by F-18’s.

The one perk from this movie has to be the soundtrack, which is awesome and which at one point I did own. The lead track is a Puff Daddy “Come With Me” remix of the good ole’ Zeppelin “Kashmir.” Whoever thought of meshing P. Diddy with Zeppelin is a genius. Haha. The soundtrack also featured a Rage Against the Machine original titled “No Shelter.” Rounding out the movie was a David Bowie remake of “Heroes” performed by The Wallflowers.

The soundtrack was the best thing about this sad movie. The idea was good, but the story was atrocious. I have yet to see a poorly developed movie from a decent idea. Emmerich is a fool. The movie did have serious potential and at one point was connected with Tim Burton. My, what could have been. The project was in works for about six years and the end result was lackluster. I don’t know of which I am more ashamed, the fact that I enjoyed this movie as a kid or the fact that it exists at all.

The production of the movie was so massive, yet it only broke even. Was slated to have two sequels, but the reception of the movie was so negative they decided to not continue the series.

I will leave you with these useless facts:

Enough lumber was used for the sets to build 50 homes.

Over 1,000 4'x8'x16' Styrofoam blocks were used to build portions of the sets, including the subway tunnels.

35 tons of steel were used to build the sets.

Over 1,000 soft architectural pieces were created for falling debris.

There was enough paint used on the film to paint the entire Golden Gate Bridge.

2.4 million gallons (~321,000 cubic feet), of water was used to create rain for the film.

2,000 foam fish were made to create the fish pile.

Enough non-toxic smoke was created on the film to completely fill the Los Angeles Coliseum 24 hours a day for one week.

There were a total of 16 different cabs used to create the entire cab sequence.

20 car thumpers were built to lift cars on the street as Godzilla walked.

O and it rained the entire movie nonstop.

We Destroyed the World

Popped in "Syriana" last night for the first time. I'm glad I finally did because I have heard so much about this movie for the last couple of years. I just never sat down and watched it.

This movie was tremendous and deserves to be thrown in the same league as "Crash" and "Babel." I think it wasn't because it is somewhat boring and slow. The story doesn't move very quickly, but the message is powerful and the final emotion is beautifully done.

I tend to think that this movie is not too far from the truth. The movie doesn't delve into the reason for being at war in a country far away, but it does tell of the government's role in securing oil for the United States.

The lies from the White House about finding weapons of mass destruction are just that: lies. As a former oil man from Texas (wow, I finally see it), our President clearly has an ulterior motive for our continued presence in the middle east.

It is not about securing the freedoms of the Iraqi people or whatever we call it. It is about obtaining their oil and siding with Saudi royalty in order to get that.

This movie addresses this problem very well. In the movie, the CIA assassinates the one man that could save Iran and bring the country out of turmoil instead of letting outside agencies come in and steal their oil with high priced buyouts.

The CIA is protecting an oil company's agenda to win over the newly appointed king so they can get the most untapped oil region in the world. The former dying king gives his blessing to the wrong son - the son that will not save the country but ruin it. The CIA then kills the other brother who could have fixed the problems all because they want American oil men to get rich.

Of course, this is not a true story, but it very well could be happening there right now. The point of this movie is to show that the greedy oil men in this country are destroying foreign nations to earn a buck. It is a look at the corrupt business practices that exist today in our oil market.

Who is right here? The CIA and the oil companies or those that actually live in those countries. The man they murdered was an intelligent, highly-educated prince who knew exactly how to fix his country but because of outside influence was unable to do so (oil dicks poisoned his father's mind).

Why do we so desperately try to run other countries when we have enough to deal with at home? Why are we, as a country, so fixed on making money that we don't care how many wars we start, how many lives we ruin or how many countries are destroyed? Our foreign policy needs to be significantly reevaluated. We need to leave other countries the hell alone and worry about our own affairs. If we desperately need oil, spend the extra buck and drill Alaska.

I am disappointed in our foreign affairs. The excuse is always that we are trying to help people. Our intentions are not even right because that is not even the real reason we are there. This country could care less what happens to the locals as long as we get our money. The people in charge of these countries can run it as they wish. They don't need our "help."

Thank you "Syriana" for exposing the truth.

Leechsucker

Ever experience an apartment rat? A leech that just one stop sucking out your guts? We seem to have run into this problem lately, and I cannot figure out how to fix it.

It just seems to crawl around all the time. It shows up and doesn't leave. It used to be really bad where the leech would get out of class and show up and then maybe leave when we all went to bed. Now, it's not as bad but still annoying.

I don't think I would hate the leech so much if it wasn't around all the time, but I guess that's what a leech does. It attaches and sucks the life and happiness out of you. O and eats all your food.

The leech has gotten to a point where I really hate to go home because I know I will see it sucking on the couch watching TV.

What am I to do? I have dropped hints of poison throughout the room hoping it either dies or leaves for good. I have done everything short of hitting it with a baseball bat, but every day it crawls out of the vent to annoy and destroy.

Where did all the happiness go? I guess it would better be described as a dementor that sucks everything happy from an area. It makes you live your worst memory, it is terrible.

This time pouring salt on the wound may solve the problem.

Woody Allen

I've fallen into a Woody Allen phase lately as I watched three films in two days. The first of which, "Small Time Crooks," was a funny romp about a trying and unsuccessful crook played by Allen who eventually becomes a millionaire when his front for a bank robbery actually brings in the dough.

His wife runs the cookie shop upstairs while Allen and his dysfunctional buddies try to tunnel to a nearby bank downstairs. The cookies become enormously popular and they eventually turn into a large corporation.

The movie is pretty funny, but definitely not my favorite Woody film. It seemed to lack the humor and flow of most of his other movies.

Next, I popped in "Annie Hall," a movie that I should have seen a long time ago but never did. Let me tell you, this movie is definitely worth all of the hype. It won four oscars including Best Picture in 1977.

The thing I love about Allen movies is that they stand the test of time. You can watch Annie Hall and not even know it was from the 70's. The subject material and filmmaking seem ahead of its time.

The free flow of conversation is incredible in all of Allen's movies but especially in Annie Hall. Each shot is something like 17 seconds long, which is truly amazing. Allen uses long takes to give the movie a stronger realism and to make the editing process take less time. This way he can easily make at least one movie a year, which he does these days.

Annie Hall is a great look at life and relationships. This movie particularly makes me want to move to New York City and grow old. This is one of the most realistic movies I have seen. You just feel each conversation isn't staged or scripted, but rather something that was caught on film accidentally.

Coincidentally, many have claimed that this movie is sort of autobiographical about Allen and his real-life relationship with Diane Keaton. I can see it and I believe it.

Next, I turned to "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion," a 2001 movie about two people in 1940 that become hypnotized to steal jewels for a hypnotist. It was pretty good and may be the best of Allen's films this decade. Funny and smart all the way through.

One thing I love about Allen's movies is his incredible casts. "Small Time Crooks" featured Hugh Grant and Jon Lovitz. "Annie Hall" featured Diane Keaton, Christopher Walken, Sigourney Weaver and Jeff Goldblum in what can be considered for all a start to their careers: this was their first big movie. "The Curse of Jade Scorpion" featured Helen Hunt, Charlize Theron and Dan Aykroyd.

The thing that is most amazing about these casts is that Allen's movies are low budget films that no one ever sees or hears about. Most common people have no idea such movies exist. I just think it is amazing to host such casts and hardly anyone knows about it. When I say anyone, I refer to the massive mainstream audience.

This guy really is amazing. He churns out new screenplays every year that are always original and terrific. Sometimes his movies seem underdeveloped and rushed, but that's OK. I applaud a new movie every year.

He does receive a great recognition from critics and the Academy especially. He has been nominated for 14, yes fourteen, Academy Awards for best original screenplay winning the award twice and another for Best Director.

He is phenomenal and it truly is amazing the screenplays he continues to write even as he ages.

One thing I do not necessarily enjoy is the fact that he casts himself in all his movies in the role of the main character that always gets the girl. That has gotten a little annoying. The fact that some old man gets the young, hot girl is not very realistic and eventually he will see that. Don't get me wrong, I think he is a great actor and I do enjoy watching him on screen, but the young romances have to stop.

Anyway, other than that and his life off screen (including the marrying of his girlfriend's adopted daughter), I totally respect Allen and his screenplays and movies.

A list of those I have seen starting with most recent release date:
"Scoop" - Scarlett Johansson and Hugh Jackman - pretty good romantic comedy
"Match Point" - Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Allen claims this is his best film
"Melinda and Melinda" - Will Ferrell, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor - really good and incredibly original
"Hollywood Ending" - Tea Leoni and Debra Messing - didn't like this one too much
"The Curse of Jade Scorpion" - Helen Hunt and Charlize Theron - good, one of his best goofy movies.
"Small Time Crooks" - Hugh Grant and Jon Lovitz - pretty funny, but turned weak toward the middle of the movie.
"Hannah and Her Sisters" - Michael Caine and Mia Farrow - my favorite Allen film and probably his best work. Won for best screenplay.
"Annie Hall" - Diane Keaton, Christopher Walken - great and an award winner


On the queue:
"Anything Else"
"Sweet and Lowdown"
"Manhattan Murder Mystery"
"Manhattan"
"Interiors"
"Sleeper"
"Bananas"

The Lemon Parade

I spent the past week in Colorado basking in the winter snow and true elegance of Creation. The mountains truly are fantastic and mind-blowing. I enjoyed the vastness that surrounded me in the mountains of Colorado.

It was an eye-opening experience being far away from the day to day life I live. It was such a blessing to be away from society and that which consumes every day.

Life sometimes seems too difficult. Sometimes I feel like there is too much on my plate and I cannot manage to balance everything. We all feel this and it is good to just get away and breathe. Get away and breathe the fresh mountain air. Get away from all your responsibilities and just relax.

It feels so good to escape and relax the mind as well. Sometimes I am overburdened by my own mind. I feel the pressures of my thoughts on a regular basis. Constantly, I have something that completely takes over my mind.

Last year, I could not think about anything but reality and how I reacted inside that reality. It was something that consumed me so much that I had forgot how to just live.

Eventually, I escaped the cage of my own thoughts and finally got some sleep and rest and peace of mind. Lately, my mind has trapped itself in the thoughts of my miscommunication.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how jacked up some of my relationships with people have been. I constantly thought of how my lack of communication skills led me to a depressed life.

Instead of working at correcting what is wrong, I simply delved into the world of depression and self pity.

Now, I know how important it is to stop thinking and live. I need to not think so much and just live and fix things instead of thinking of ways to fix things.

The revelations bestowed upon me on my spiritual journey through Colorado will greatly affect the rest of my life. For some strange reason, I have developed a desire to become "socially responsible" and I feel the need to find a path for my future.

This is radically different from where I stood weeks ago. I wanted more than anything to have nothing to do with society or the world.

I guess I still feel that way, but now I just have to concentrate on what my future holds. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to travel and find my true self and discover all that this world has to offer, but I also want to contribute to society.

It is all very confusing and I'm sure it will rape my brain for the next few months as I make decisions about my future.

All my thoughts and outside influences have led me to realize that life is irrational. You never know what you are going to get. The only thing I can do is go out there and live it. I need not shy away from the unfamiliar or the uncomfortable. I need to get out there and feel. Things will get you down, but you must move on.
That's my realization. Live through the worst.