The Lemon Parade

I spent the past week in Colorado basking in the winter snow and true elegance of Creation. The mountains truly are fantastic and mind-blowing. I enjoyed the vastness that surrounded me in the mountains of Colorado.

It was an eye-opening experience being far away from the day to day life I live. It was such a blessing to be away from society and that which consumes every day.

Life sometimes seems too difficult. Sometimes I feel like there is too much on my plate and I cannot manage to balance everything. We all feel this and it is good to just get away and breathe. Get away and breathe the fresh mountain air. Get away from all your responsibilities and just relax.

It feels so good to escape and relax the mind as well. Sometimes I am overburdened by my own mind. I feel the pressures of my thoughts on a regular basis. Constantly, I have something that completely takes over my mind.

Last year, I could not think about anything but reality and how I reacted inside that reality. It was something that consumed me so much that I had forgot how to just live.

Eventually, I escaped the cage of my own thoughts and finally got some sleep and rest and peace of mind. Lately, my mind has trapped itself in the thoughts of my miscommunication.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how jacked up some of my relationships with people have been. I constantly thought of how my lack of communication skills led me to a depressed life.

Instead of working at correcting what is wrong, I simply delved into the world of depression and self pity.

Now, I know how important it is to stop thinking and live. I need to not think so much and just live and fix things instead of thinking of ways to fix things.

The revelations bestowed upon me on my spiritual journey through Colorado will greatly affect the rest of my life. For some strange reason, I have developed a desire to become "socially responsible" and I feel the need to find a path for my future.

This is radically different from where I stood weeks ago. I wanted more than anything to have nothing to do with society or the world.

I guess I still feel that way, but now I just have to concentrate on what my future holds. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to travel and find my true self and discover all that this world has to offer, but I also want to contribute to society.

It is all very confusing and I'm sure it will rape my brain for the next few months as I make decisions about my future.

All my thoughts and outside influences have led me to realize that life is irrational. You never know what you are going to get. The only thing I can do is go out there and live it. I need not shy away from the unfamiliar or the uncomfortable. I need to get out there and feel. Things will get you down, but you must move on.
That's my realization. Live through the worst.