Sorority Boys

According to IMDB.com, Sorority Boys lies in the bottom percentile with an average user rating of 4.9. Haha, that is pretty pathetic.

I, however, beg to differ. Sorority Boys is one of those movies that goes unnoticed and quickly shoved under the couch. People could argue that this movie is entirely profane (it is) and unworthy of watching. All this is true (it is a nasty movie), but it pales in comparison to today's Apatow comedies (which suck).

This is quality comedy at its best. OK, maybe crappy comedy at its worst. Same thing, right. Here is what I love about this movie: Harland Williams. He is hilarious and no one knows who he is.

Williams was the biker cop with "killer boots" in Dumb and Dumber. And he was also Rocketman, which stands as one of the funniest slapsticks of the modern era (and you can quote me on that).

He character, Doofer, is a bumbling, drunk fool who provides raucous laughter throughout.

The second best part of the movie is the violent attack between the two frat brothers as they engage in a romantic relationship (one is a guy dressed as a girl).

O yeah, plot outline. Three guys get kicked out of their frat for stealing the frat's money (they didn't). With the tempting offer of free room and board at the laughed at, ugly sorority, the boys decide to cross dress until they can prove their innocence.

The movie runs into a major problem about halfway through, it tries to be a real movie. Instead of maintaining goofy comedy, it turns dramatic and tries way to hard to teach valuable life lessons.

Let's just say this part failed. I did not learn anything from watching this movie and in fact, I am probably dumber from having watched it.

O well, it was worth a watch for those fleeting moments of hilarity and ridiculousness. Doofer might be my favorite frat character ever however few and far between his glory shines.

By the way, I'm pretty sure this movie ruined the careers of every actor involved.

I do not recommend this one to the weak as it is profoundly disgusting, but if you would like to be dumbed down for awhile watch it. But turn it off after the first half hour or so because nothing happens for the rest of the movie. The end is actually pretty boring and unfulfilling.

5.2 of 10 (for doofer)

3's and 8's

Why is the world run by such morons? Well, maybe the gas station attendants don't run the world, but you know what I mean. Why is everyone such a fool?

I have begun to realize why the people that work at gas stations do, in fact, work at gas stations. I'm speaking on pure generalizations and yes, I am stereotyping the worker at such establishments.

But come on, how dumb must you be to put the 3's and the 8's upside down.

Rereading that sentence makes me sound like a fool. Who notices a three or eight upside down? If they were backwards, that would be an obvious problem. But I didn't even notice a difference between the top circle and the bottom circle.

You may not have noticed, but I did and that's the only thing that matters. It is just a simple little thing that can easily be fixed by flipping the number the right side up on the gas sign.

It has become an increasing problem in today's world as gas prices have soared into the three dollar range. Half the stations in town have this problem. The put the three's and eight's upside down just to make me angry.

I almost yelled at a worker who was changing the sign when I drove by the other day. Use your brain and flip the sign so that the fatter circle of half circle is at the bottom.

What does it take to fix this problem? I suggest an IQ test with questions about symmetry of numbers. Either that or burn down those gas stations.

Yes, that's all.

*Note the first two three's compared to the third.

Burn It Down

My latest pet peeve lies with the bless-ed computer labs on campus here at Oklahoma State in Stillwater. This past week has been a struggle that has led me to burn down one of the buildings on campus.

These things are so ridiculous, I can hardly see straight. I tried the Kerr-Drummond Lab (the closest computer lab to my room) and was met with disappointment. More than half of the computers do not work. They are stuck on the loading screen and apparently the university cares too little to try to fix them.

Eight of the 40 computers were taken, so I had to go elsewhere to complete my assignment that requires a special program (yeah, I'm getting screwed twice). The university screws me over by giving me assignments that can only be completed on their systems and then their computers are more ghetto than the projects (I'm not even going to get into the massive problem of "entire-campus-wireless-internet" OSU claims).

So, I had to find another lab where I could do my stupid Astronomy lab project. I went to the lab in the Math Science building. It is a catastrophe before I even get into the lab. The lab has four doors, but get this, only one of them works. What is that? How does a door not work? And why the freak haven't they fixed it? It is a simple swinging door that should require little maintenance, but OSU couldn't care less.

I manage to get into the godforsaken place to search for a working computer. I find one and decide, "Hey, why not time how long it takes to log on to this stupid thing."

Here we go:
Type in my name and password to log on - 3 minutes later the computer has finally booted and logged me on.
Now, give it another minute to load the shotty anti-virus program.
Double click Internet Explorer - 3o seconds later the browser pops up
Give it another 30 seconds to load and now I'm ready.

We're talking about five minutes just to get on to the Internet. These things are such pieces of crap. They are Dell computers from 1998 that barely load XP without frying.

Also, the inconvenience of typing my name and password for everything I have to print is greatly annoying.

The problem isn't just with a couple labs, it is the majority of the campus. I have found one lab I can handle and that is the lab I'm in right now. The Mac Lab in the JB building is cooperative and quick and I much prefer it over anywhere else on campus.

Thank you for being so "convenient" OSU with your little computer labs to "benefit" the students. "We have strategically placed computer labs throughout the campus for students to use with convenient printers all available free of charge."

Haha, that is ridiculous.

You would think with as much as I pay for this crap, it would be decent. They can't even manage to make a door open and close. I even pay a "Technology Fee." What is that for? Where does that go? To the little guy in the orange vest who sits there and does his homework. What a piece of junk.

Get it together, people.

Minority Report

2002's "Minority Report" is one of Steven Spielberg's darker action flicks. The film was "bleech-bypassed" during post production to give it a dark feel that made the movie look almost black and white. It is considered very unique and paints a bleak view of the future.

The colors in the movie are very desaturated which gives it a dark bluish tint that resonates throughout the movie. The futuristic world created by Spielberg is an example of a mix of utopia and dystopia.

The year is 2054 and Tom Cruise is Pre-Crime agent John Anderton, who arrests people of murders before they are committed thanks to the three "pre-cogs" (kids of drug abusers, who are "blessed" with visions of murder in the future).

The world created in 2054 is high-tech, but not too preposterous. People still live as they do only with more technology. They do not drastically change their lifestyles as we see a lot in sci-fi movies.

The Pre-Crime division has eliminated murder in Washington D.C. in it's six years of service. The division is on the brink of going national and is therefore scrutinized by Department of Justice agent Danny Witwer (Colin Farrell).

Anderton is soon accused of murder three days into the future. He must go on the run and figure out how to clear his name. He does not even know the man he is supposed to kill.

The movie raises interesting questions about predetermination and destiny. If he had not been accused of murder, would he have actually committed it? The likelihood is that he wouldn't considering he did not know the guy.

The question is that of free will. Do we have a choice to change our "destiny?" Simply accusing Anderton leads him into a situation where he is forced to choice whether to murder this man (a very emotional choice at that).

All those that Anderton arrested did not actually do anything, yet they have been arrested. Could the pre-cogs be wrong or tampered with?

This movie ponders many questions and leaves you wondering in the end about free will and how we can alter the future by decisions we make. I love futuristic movies that ponder questions of reality, so this is right down my ally.

As for the content of the movie, it is loaded with action and futuristic violence involving jet packs and a freakin' awesome shock wave gun (coolest part of the movie). The technology is stunning and believable for what is nearly 50 years away.

I did not like the score created for this movie. It felt like a lot of the music did not apply or fit too well. It was done by the legend John Williams, but it simply did not add much to the film. The music was too opera-ish. It should have been the music of a classic film set in 1700's England. I was not pleased with this and felt like the movie would have been that much better with an average action movie score.

Another problem I have with this movie was the 30 minute lull at the end. This seems to be a common thing with Spielberg's latest movies (cough, cough "Munich" - that thing lasted forever). I thought the movie could have ended about five minutes after Anderton's confrontation with the guy he was to murder. Speilberg could have shortened this ending because in 30 minutes we don't learn that much.

It could have been squeezed into five minutes. The movie seems to take a boring turn at this point and fails to answer any questions we hadn't figured out already. Other than that and the music, I would say this is one of my favorite Spielberg movies, especially in recent years.

The action and futuristic world are spot on and Cruise is great as always. Throughout the movie, I tried to gather an evaluation on Farrell, but I still can't pinpoint it. I was looking for something to make him not live up to his negative reputation. I don't know. I still can't figure out if he is that great of an actor. Hard to tell in this one.

"Everybody runs."

4 of 5 stars